What Progress Actually Looks Like
Each week I write this Breakthru Guide as a small act of devotion: to join with givers, to honor this great vocation, and to stand with the brave souls who keep showing up everyday and extending invitations.
💖Please share with your friends who are on the frontlines raising funds for amazing causes💖
Welcome to the newcomers!
(This is part 4 of the INSPIRED series - “P is for Progress”. See previous posts here.)
When I met Judy, she had the quiet composure of someone trying not to show the wear.
She was sharp and warm, clearly committed. A major gift officer for a humanitarian organization doing remarkable work in Southeast Asia - Cambodia, Vietnam, and neighboring regions. She’d been with the organization for six years, though only the last eighteen months was spent in major gifts.
Before that, she was the executive assistant. Supporting the Director of Development. And doing… well, everything.
Judy is the living embodiment of what Eugene Peterson calls “a long obedience in the same direction.”
She gave me a tour of the home office - modest, beautiful and full of handwoven textiles from Cambodia. Donor thank-you letters pinned near the entry, and lining the halls were printed photographs from the field, each one telling a quiet story of transformation.
Afterward, we crossed the street for coffee. As we sat down, I mentioned the photos.
“Those stories around the office,” I said, “they really moved me.”
Her face lit up - like I’d just handed her a Grammy.
“You noticed those?” she said. “I put them up nearly two months ago and no one has said a word. Actually… I take that back. A new board member noticed them last week and said they loved them. But otherwise? Crickets.”
My response here felt really important. “Judy, I know it feels small. But those kinds of things matter more than you know.”
The Work That Doesn’t Show Up on a Dashboard
Judy isn’t flashy. She isn’t loud. But she shows up - week after week - in ways most people never see.
During our visit that day, I began to notice the shape of her work.
She told stories with dignity.
Those photos on the walls weren’t pity shots. They weren’t ‘look at what we did’, They were human - named, grounded, framed with honor. That kind of storytelling takes emotional labor. It takes spiritual clarity. And it rarely gets credited.
She absorbed tension.
When projects stalled, when donors went quiet, when the grant team needed one more version of a case statement, Judy was the steady one. The calm voice in the room. The person who said, “We’ll figure it out,” and meant it.
She stayed curious.
In a role that often rewards certainty, Judy asked questions. About what givers are experiencing. About whether the message was landing. About how the next proposal could be better than the last. Curiosity, I’ve learned, is resilience in disguise. That mindset keeps conversations open.
She made the office more beautiful.
Yes, literally - the walls, the lighting, the colors. But also culturally. She paid attention to details that quietly said: Care lives here. You can’t always measure that. But you feel it the moment you walk in.
What I Told Judy
Before we parted, I told Judy what I’ve told many fundraisers over the years - and maybe what you need to hear right now:
You’re doing better than you think you are.
Your work won’t always be rewarded with applause or clean metrics. Some of your most important efforts will never show up on a dashboard. Progress isn’t always obvious. Growth doesn’t always appear in quarterly reports.
But no faithful effort is wasted. Every act of care contributes to a culture of generosity. And people feel it - even when they don’t know how to say thank you.
Four Ways to Remember How Hard You’re Trying
When you feel invisible… or behind… or just plain tired - these small practices can help you see yourself with more kindness.
Reread the note someone sent you.
The old thank-you you saved. The donor text you meant to delete but didn’t. The kind line from a teammate that landed on a hard day. Those words were true then. They’re still true now.
Look at your calendar through a different lens.
Not just meetings and tasks. Look at all the ways you showed up. The follow-ups you sent after hours. The names you carried into hard conversations. The emotional weight your calendar doesn’t list - but you felt.
Ask a trusted teammate what they’ve noticed.
Not fishing for praise. Just to stay grounded. Sometimes others can name the strength we’ve normalized. And when they do, return the favor. Say out loud what you see in them, too.
Keep a “wins” list for yourself.
“I made that call.”
“I stayed calm in that meeting.”
“I asked for feedback.”
This is what growth looks like most days. Subtle, uncelebrated, and real.
You Deserve More Credit Than You Give Yourself
If you’ve been hanging in there - making the follow-ups, writing the proposals, leaving the voicemails, and nudging the meeting forward - that counts.
Maybe no one has said thank you.
Maybe the goal is still out of reach.
Maybe you feel more behind than ahead.
This is where you can choose to be still and remember:
You are showing up.
You are contributing.
You are creating space for generosity to grow.
That matters more than you know. You're not behind - you're becoming.
Keep going.
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If you haven't taken advantage of some of the resources I've created to help major gift fundraisers, take a look now! Initial calls with me are free and "no strings attached". Sometimes folks feel like they need to wait and not 'bother' me until they have a pressing issue. No need for that...just make the call. 🕺
Here's where you can access a lot of content for free:
* Major Gift Fundraising MRI Scan - A story-based self-assessment that helps you name your instincts, clarify your posture, and grow with intention. Takes less than 20 minutes and gives you a custom coaching summary based on your responses.
* JappaFry Writer - A freely available AI tool that draws from over 175 pages of original teaching, storytelling, frameworks, and strategy from my 30 year career in major gift fundraising.
* Follow me on LinkedIn - You'll get short pro-tips and reflections on major gift fundraising every day between 5-7am pacific.
* Breakthru Newsletter - As you've seen here, these are longer weekly posts (audio and written) sent directly to your email.
* Breakthru Blog - the newsletter from the previous week gets posted here each week for everyone (so email subscribers get it a week early).
* Breakthru Podcast - Interviews with high net worth givers about how we as fundraisers can get better at inviting them to the party. And audio readings of Breakthru Blog posts.
Before getting to the PAID stuff: My opinion is that no small ministry with a tight budget should be spending more than $3-5k (total) for major gift coaching/consulting. Most of you will be good-to-go spending far less than that. This was a major issue for me when I was a frontline fundraiser - major gift consultants were an expensive 'black-box-of-confusion' for me. That stops now.
Here's the PAID stuff:
* Online Catalyst Course - This is a full brain dump of my 28+ years of experience - good, bad, ugly. It's built around the fundamentals, the sacredness, and the fun, of major gift fundraising. It's infused with Henri Nouwen reflections. Many people can take this course and they will be 'cooking-with-gas' and not need any additional coaching from me on the core systems. I'm grateful that this course has gotten *great* reviews.
* Live coaching with me - I refer to this as "brain rental". The ROI on live coaching, as you might imagine, is extraordinary.
Finally, be sure to connect with my colleague Ivana Salloum. She's super awesome and can help with scheduling and access to resources, etc.
I look forward to hearing about your good work!
Blessings,
