Post Script - When You Just Show Up
(Names changed for privacy)
Greetings friends,
The following story is from one of your fellow readers! It’s a cool post script to our series called The Invitation: Rethinking the Ask in Major Gifts.
My friend Rich had finished reading Post #5, When They Start Asking You, when he reached out and said, “I think I know exactly what you’re talking about.”
We talked it through, and I jotted some notes so I could share the story with you.
Rich had been in touch with someone we’ll call Mark. Mark gave occasionally to his organization which does humanitarian work in Southeast Asia. His giving wasn’t especially consistent, but it was enough to put him on Rich’s radar. Rich also knew that Mark supported a sister ministry on a monthly basis. So there was enough there to pay attention.
As he learned more, Rich discovered that Mark was part owner of several coffee shops spread across a few cities - including some in Rich’s region.That caught his attention because, well, Rich appreciates a good cup ‘o joe. So he reached out to set up a meeting.
No response.
A few weeks later, Rich found himself driving through one of the towns where Mark had a coffee shop. He decided to stop in.
Mark wasn’t there, but he was pleased to see it was busy and full. It had a cool vibe. He ordered a coffee and mentioned knowing the owners. “Oh shoot, you missed them… they’re in Mexico,” someone said.
He found a table and sent a quick text to Mark: “Great coffee. Line’s out the door. Hope you’re doing well.” The response came back almost immediately. They exchanged a few more messages. Mark suggested he leave some stuff on the cause for when they returned. It’s notable that Mark actually texted, “leave my packet for me”. Language clues like that don’t go unnoticed, eh? Rich could see the initial buy-in from Mark.
A couple of weeks went by. Rich followed up. Nothing.
Then 2 more weeks later, out of the blue, a text from Mark: “We got the packet. Thank you. We’d like to meet. We’ll be traveling again soon, but should be around.”
Rich responded: “Great, will you be in town the week of June 21st?”
“Yes, we will.”
That’s the moment where Rich knew things had shifted to a new gear. And that’s where it stands for now.
Notice there’s no big moment. No breakthrough conversation. Just a series of small connections and decisions.
By the way, Rich, we’ll all be on pins and needles to hear how June 21st goes! The Summer Solstice… you’ll have the longest day of the year to get that connection made 😅
There are several things I love about this story. But the biggest is how little Rich tried to control the outcome.
He didn’t overthink the plan.
He didn’t wait for everything to line up perfectly.
He didn’t despair when the first outreach went unanswered.
He simply stayed near it.
He paid attention to what he already knew. He acted on it. He created a reason to show up. And when nothing obvious happened, he kept moving forward.
There’s a healthy confidence in that posture. It says, I'm willing to move without a guarantee of a result.
This is the part of the work that often goes unnoticed - the space between the first connection and the eventual invitation.
The quiet decisions.
The imperfect action.
The willingness to follow a hunch.
Over time, those instincts get sharper. You begin to recognize when something is developing. You can’t always explain it. But you know it’s worth stepping toward.
That’s why I love hearing your stories. They’re where these ideas stop becoming theory and become something practical.
And they often teach me as much as they teach anyone else.
I’m looking forward to exploring some new ideas in the coming weeks. If there are topics you’d like me to write about, I’d love to hear them.
* * * * * * * * * *
If you haven’t explored the free resources I’ve created for major gift fundraisers, this is a great place to start:
- Follow me on LinkedIn for daily pro tips and reflections.
- Major Gift Fundraising MRI Scan - a short, story-based assessment to help you name your instincts and clarify your posture.
- JappaFry Writer - an AI tool shaped by 30+ years of real-world experience, teaching, and strategy.
- Breakthru Newsletter, Blog, and Podcast - ongoing reflections, conversations, and practical guidance for the work you care about most.
These resources are designed to meet you where you are - and help you move forward with clarity and confidence.
If you’d ever like to talk, you can always schedule a free introductory call. I'd love to get acquainted and hear what you’re navigating right now.
For organizations ready for more structured support:
You may not need a full-time development leader - at least not yet. Sometimes what’s needed is clearer thinking. Sometimes more consistent action. And sometimes, for a season, real leadership.Here are a few ways we can start building momentum together:
* Online Catalyst Course ($199) - A complete brain dump of 30+ years in major gift fundraising - the good, the hard, and the surprisingly joyful. Built around strong fundamentals, the sacredness, and yes, even the fun. Infused with insights from Henri Nouwen. Many who take this course find it gives them everything they need to build healthy, sustainable systems.
* Live coaching ($300-400 / 90 minutes) - Think of this as "brain rental". Focused, strategic, and highly practical. The kind of time that brings clarity quickly and creates real momentum.
* Laser-focused session ($99 / 45 minutes) - For one specific moment that matters - preparing for a high-stakes conversation, navigating an invitation, or working through a decision that needs clarity.
* Fractional Director of Development - For a small number of organizations, I step in more deeply - bringing clarity to your message, movement to key relationships, and structures your team can sustain long after I’m gone.
In the first 90 days, you can expect:
- clearer, more confident communication of your vision
- more meaningful engagement with top givers and prospects
- renewed movement in relationships that may have stalled
- simple, actionable next steps after each interaction
- a sharper sense of who is ready to be invited - and who is not
Most fractional engagements range from $2,500 - $7,500+ per month depending on the level of involvement.Not sure what kinds of support you need? I can point you to a simple Development Readiness Assessment - just reply and let me know.
And don’t miss connecting with my colleague Ivana Salloum - she's wonderful and can help with scheduling, resources, and getting you where you need to go.
Thank you for the work you do. Truly.I’d love to hear what’s unfolding in your world - and how I can come alongside you.
