The Work No One Tracks
There are people I’ve met over the years who I simply haven’t talked to in a long time. Nothing happened. No falling out. No tension. Life just moved on. Different roles. Different places. Different seasons.
Every once in a while, one of those folks pop into my head. I have this quiet thought: I wonder how they’re doing.
Recently I reached out to someone I hadn’t connected with in more than a decade. I sent a simple note to see how they were doing. They responded kindly. We exchanged a few texts. My last note was, “Let me know if there are ways I can be praying for you.”
And then it went quiet.
At one time, I probably would have wondered if I said the wrong thing. Maybe I should have approached it differently. Maybe I should follow up again to keep the conversation alive. This time, I didn’t. I let it be what it was.
Then a week later, I came across an article about some interesting work happening in their industry. I forwarded it to them with a short note. Something light. They responded with a laugh and a thumbs up. And that was it.
There’s a kind of respect in that.
Respect for where someone is. Respect for their time and attention. Respect for the reality that not every interaction needs to lead somewhere. I’ve come to believe this is part of the work we do. It’s not visible. It isn’t tracked. No one measures it. It’s simply the quiet work of staying connected to people in a way that isn’t always tied to progress.
When we only reach out with an agenda, people can usually feel it. Even if they can’t name it, the relationship slowly becomes associated with expectation. With movement. With an outcome.
But when you reach out to simply acknowledge someone, something different happens. People feel seen. The relationship stays alive. Then, when there is a moment where it does make sense to explore something together, you’re not starting from zero. You’re simply picking up a thread that was never completely dropped.
It can be tempting to overcomplicate this (I’m pointing four fingers at myself). Over time, though, it’s become a remarkably simple practice. Each month, I choose two to five people I haven’t connected with recently. I don’t filter for readiness. I don’t evaluate potential. I simply think about people I’ve known along the way. Then I reach out.
Sometimes it’s a short note. Sometimes it’s an article that made me think of them. Sometimes it’s nothing more than, “I was thinking about you today.” There’s no script.
Sometimes it leads to a longer conversation. Sometimes it’s just a brief exchange. Sometimes it doesn’t go anywhere at all. And that’s okay. The goal isn’t to make something happen. The goal is simply to relate to people the way I actually want to relate to people - with warmth, curiosity, and a genuine interest in how they’re doing and what they’re carrying in this season.
Over time, that changes the feel of the work. It changes the shape of your relationships. Your network isn’t only activated when there’s a need. Conversations can begin again without awkwardness. Threads are easier to pick up because they were never completely abandoned.
As you look ahead to this fall, here’s a simple question to consider.
Who comes to mind? Not just the people who seem ready to take action. The people you haven’t thought about in a while. The people whose names seem to surface for no obvious reason.
Start there. Send a note. Share something small. Let it be what it is. You don’t have to force anything. You don’t have to move anything forward. Simply reconnect.
There’s something deeply good about that. I believe it with all my heart.
* * * * * * * * * *
If you haven’t explored the free resources I’ve created for major gift fundraisers, this is a great place to start:
- Follow me on LinkedIn for daily pro tips and reflections.
- Major Gift Fundraising MRI Scan - a short, story-based assessment to help you name your instincts and clarify your posture.
- JappaFry Writer - an AI tool shaped by 30+ years of real-world experience, teaching, and strategy.
- Breakthru Newsletter, Blog, and Podcast - ongoing reflections, conversations, and practical guidance for the work you care about most.
These resources are designed to meet you where you are - and help you move forward with clarity and confidence.
If you’d ever like to talk, you can always schedule a free introductory call. I'd love to get acquainted and hear what you’re navigating right now.
For organizations ready for more structured support:
You may not need a full-time development leader - at least not yet. Sometimes what’s needed is clearer thinking. Sometimes more consistent action. And sometimes, for a season, real leadership.Here are a few ways we can start building momentum together:
* Online Catalyst Course ($199) - A complete brain dump of 30+ years in major gift fundraising - the good, the hard, and the surprisingly joyful. Built around strong fundamentals, the sacredness, and yes, even the fun. Infused with insights from Henri Nouwen. Many who take this course find it gives them everything they need to build healthy, sustainable systems.
* Live coaching ($300-400 / 90 minutes) - Think of this as "brain rental". Focused, strategic, and highly practical. The kind of time that brings clarity quickly and creates real momentum.
* Laser-focused session ($99 / 45 minutes) - For one specific moment that matters - preparing for a high-stakes conversation, navigating an invitation, or working through a decision that needs clarity.
* Fractional Director of Development - For a small number of organizations, I step in more deeply - bringing clarity to your message, movement to key relationships, and structures your team can sustain long after I’m gone.
In the first 90 days, you can expect:
- clearer, more confident communication of your vision
- more meaningful engagement with top givers and prospects
- renewed movement in relationships that may have stalled
- simple, actionable next steps after each interaction
- a sharper sense of who is ready to be invited - and who is not
Most fractional engagements range from $2,500 - $7,500+ per month depending on the level of involvement.Not sure what kinds of support you need? I can point you to a simple Development Readiness Assessment - just reply and let me know.
And don’t miss connecting with my colleague Ivana Salloum - she's wonderful and can help with scheduling, resources, and getting you where you need to go.
Thank you for the work you do. Truly.I’d love to hear what’s unfolding in your world - and how I can come alongside you.
