When The Bottom Drops Out
Each week I write this Breakthru Guide as a small act of devotion: to join with givers, to honor this great vocation, and to stand with the brave souls who keep showing up everyday and extending invitations.
💖Please share with your friends who are on the frontlines raising funds for amazing causes💖
Welcome to the newcomers!
(This is part 2 - "N is for Nerve" - of the INSPIRED series. See previous posts here.)
Earlier this year, one of my clients lost over $10 million in USAID funding. Almost overnight.
There was no warning, no gradual tapering, no “maybe we can find a bridge.” One day the funding existed; the next, it didn’t. And because of how government grants typically work, the grant money gets spent first, then reimbursed - and a portion had indeed already been spent. Now the reimbursement looked very unlikely.
The loss hit like a shockwave. Budgets buckled. Morale dipped. Momentum stalled. Trust wavered.
But what I remember most is getting on the phone with the Executive Director just days after the news, with the weight of it all still settling around him. He was steady, unflinching, and said, “We can survive this. We’re going to have to make some very tough decisions… but we can do it.”
I was stunned. Not by the cut. That was brutal. But by him. His clarity. His resolve. The quiet steadiness that wasn’t bluster or bravado - just truth.
We can survive this.
We can do it.
That’s nerve.
The Real Work of Fundraising
At its core, fundraising is the work of leading through uncertainty. It’s holding tension without letting it break you. It’s facing setbacks - sometimes sharp, sometimes slow - and choosing to keep showing up anyway.
Much of the time it looks like:
- The silence after a beautifully crafted ask.
- Months of “maybe” with nothing to show for it.
- A giver who vanishes without explanation.
- A gift that evaporates at the last-minute.
- A strategy that suddenly no longer fits the season you’re in.
But then, every so often, something much harder breaks loose - a major hit that shifts everything. That’s when nerve matters most.
What Nerve Looks Like
Nerve isn’t hype. It isn’t smiling through gritted teeth. It isn’t pretending you’re not afraid.
Nerve is the quiet choice to move forward, even as the ground shifts.It’s staying present when everything feels unstable.
It’s asking the hard question, knowing it may land awkwardly.
It’s holding the space when emotions swell and stakes feel heavy.
Nerve is saying, “We’re going to find a way through this,” even when the path isn't visible yet.
It’s resilience with direction.
Courage with purpose.
How to Practice Nerve This Week
You don’t have to wait for a crisis to build nerve. Nerve is formed in the small ordinary moments - the ones that wobble just enough to make you want to step back.
This week, try staying with the work a little longer. Here are some suggestions:
1. Ask the question you’re afraid to ask.
The one sitting in your chest - the direct ask, the honest check-in, the quiet, “Are we still aligned on this?”. Questions like these clear the fog. And clarity is one of nerve’s closest companions.
2. Don’t apologize for the need.
When you invite someone to give, resist the instinct to shrink the moment with disclaimers. You’re not imposing; you’re offering a chance to participate in something meaningful.
3. Stay present after a hard meeting.
Maybe it was a tense board conversation, a skeptical donor, or a tough moment with your own team. The instinct is to retreat - close the laptop, walk fast, shake it off. But trust grows in the moments after tension, when you’re still there, still listening.
4. Choose one place where you usually check out - and stay.
Maybe it’s that report you keep pushing aside, the calendar chaos you avoid, or the conflict you’ve been circling for weeks. Pick one. Face it. Gently, but on purpose.
5. Say the affirmation out loud.
Yes, actually speak it: No matter what happens this week, we can handle it. Sometimes your body needs the reminder more than your mind does.
This is the quiet work of building nerve:
Not grand gestures, but steady presence. Not fearlessness, but choosing to move anyway.
This Week’s Affirmation
No matter what happens this week, we can handle it.
Not because we’re flawless.
Not because circumstances will bend in our favor.
Not because we’ve crafted the perfect plan.
But because we know who we are.
We trust the work.
And we’re not going anywhere.
If You’re In It Right Now
Maybe you’re carrying something heavy - a major gift that slipped away, a staff departure that rattled the team, a board that feels out of sync. Maybe you feel like the last one still holding belief for this thing.
If that’s where you are, hear this clearly:
You’re not failing. You’re not broken. You’re not alone.
This is the moment where nerve is shaped.
You pause. You breathe. You take the next step.
You pray, ask for wisdom, and endeavor to make space for a steadier voice inside you to speak.
My Executive Director friend still had to face hard conversations. He still had to say no to good things. Doubt still tapped him on the shoulder. But he didn’t panic. He didn’t vanish. He didn’t lose himself.
His decisions in the weeks and months that followed weren’t perfect - but he kept showing up. And because of that, he and his mission are still standing today.
You can do the same. That’s your work this week - not to control the outcome. Just to stay present. Stay steady. Stay clear.
Whatever this week holds, you can handle it.
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If you haven't taken advantage of some of the resources I've created to help major gift fundraisers, take a look now! Initial calls with me are free and "no strings attached". Sometimes folks feel like they need to wait and not 'bother' me until they have a pressing issue. No need for that...just make the call. 🕺
Here's where you can access a lot of content for free:
* Major Gift Fundraising MRI Scan - A story-based self-assessment that helps you name your instincts, clarify your posture, and grow with intention. Takes less than 20 minutes and gives you a custom coaching summary based on your responses.
* JappaFry Writer - A freely available AI tool that draws from over 175 pages of original teaching, storytelling, frameworks, and strategy from my 30 year career in major gift fundraising.
* Follow me on LinkedIn - You'll get short pro-tips and reflections on major gift fundraising every day between 5-7am pacific.
* Breakthru Newsletter - As you've seen here, these are longer weekly posts (audio and written) sent directly to your email.
* Breakthru Blog - the newsletter from the previous week gets posted here each week for everyone (so email subscribers get it a week early).
* Breakthru Podcast - Interviews with high net worth givers about how we as fundraisers can get better at inviting them to the party. And audio readings of Breakthru Blog posts.
Before getting to the PAID stuff: My opinion is that no small ministry with a tight budget should be spending more than $3-5k (total) for major gift coaching/consulting. Most of you will be good-to-go spending far less than that. This was a major issue for me when I was a frontline fundraiser - major gift consultants were an expensive 'black-box-of-confusion' for me. That stops now.
Here's the PAID stuff:
* Online Catalyst Course - This is a full brain dump of my 28+ years of experience - good, bad, ugly. It's built around the fundamentals, the sacredness, and the fun, of major gift fundraising. It's infused with Henri Nouwen reflections. Many people can take this course and they will be 'cooking-with-gas' and not need any additional coaching from me on the core systems. I'm grateful that this course has gotten *great* reviews.
* Live coaching with me - I refer to this as "brain rental". The ROI on live coaching, as you might imagine, is extraordinary.
Finally, be sure to connect with my colleague Ivana Salloum. She's super awesome and can help with scheduling and access to resources, etc.
I look forward to hearing about your good work!
Blessings,
